Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Revenge WAS sweet!

I have been battling with a neighbor that lives behind us (and a couple houses down) for weeks now. She likes to blow an air horn when dogs bark. I have personally let her know on several occasions that what she is doing doesn't make her any better than the dogs.

She's been ticketed by the Po-Po's for "disturbing the peace," and yet she continues to blow that horn. My hubby and I passed out air horns to all of the neighbors surrounding her, you know, because we are sick of her. When we all started blowing horns at her...I know she wet her pants. Or her Depends, who knows. Our dog doesn't even bark, but she blew that thing at us. Well, she blew it at MrZ, when he was being "too loud" on his trampoline. I am not sure that she is all there in her head. Or maybe they pull too tightly on that hair when she's getting the OLD-LADY-PERM.

I digress.

I am a little devious, I admit it. I'm actually kind of proud of my insane antics. It keeps me young, and happy. So, after the neighbors and I blasted her a few times with our spiffy new air horns (which obviously didn't work), I came up with a new plan.

You see, my hubby has these EYESORES in the pool room:

I'm pretty sure that I know how bad you want them in YOUR house. They are loud. VERY LOUD. Pictures fall off of the walls if you turn them up half way. (We tested them once.) I can sense that you know where I am headed on this path. Good for you.
I had the hubby move them out to the back porch (he he he he!), and I let all the surrounding neighbors know what was about to happen. I downloaded 20 or so irritating noises off the Internet, and burned what I like to call: "TAKE THIS OLD AIR HORN LADY."
Then, I sat patiently on my lounger next to the stereo, and waited. Of course, she delivered. Some poor dog a few houses down yipped a sweet little tune, and the air horn hag burst out her back door, tootin' her horn.
I hit play.
OH WONDERFUL sounds of fingernails screeching down a chalkboard. The DELIGHTFUL music of babies wailing at the tops of their lungs. Some LOVELY musician trying unsuccessfully to play a trumpet. I could go on, but I think you understand. Every. Single. Time she blew her horn, I accompanied her in a symphony of irritating racket.
I know she called the police, her next door neighbor reported to me. But apparently, they don't believe her. I don't really care either way. I'm happy, for now. She hasn't blown that damned thing all day! But I will be ready if she does. BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

1 comment:

Denelle @CaitsConcepts said...

Oh, now see? THIS is awesome. I would do this in a heartbeat! hahahaha