Thursday, February 24, 2011

For Sale: Bag Full Of Hair! CHEAP! (o.b.o.)

Craigslist ad:
For Sale: Hair, 1/4" or smaller pieces of men's facial hair. I'm willing to let this collection go for a mere $30! (o.b.o.)

What you get: 1 gallon size Ziploc baggie full of discarded men's facial hair. These neglegently thrown, dropped, swiped and shaven hairs have been the bane of my marraige. I became so tirelessly striken by cleaning them off the bathroom sink, counter and floor, that my husband and I constantly fought about them.

They have led us to separate...bathrooms that is. I kicked him out of (what was previously) our bathroom, and made him move all of his personal hygeine belongings to our son's bathroom. They can be gross in there together.

The final straw came when I had to have one of those hard, and very sharp evidently, hairs removed surgically from the bottom of my foot. I was not a happy girl. When that happened, I started collecting them as I cleaned up after my husband, and diligently stored them in a bag. I just knew somebody would want them.

Suggestions for use:

-create your very own buzz cut wig!
-give them to kids with glue and make furry monster pictures as a craft
-use them as stuffing for a pillow
-put them in the bottom of your hamster's cage for warmth
-I do NOT suggest attaching them directly to your head with super glue!

Honestly, I don't care what you do with them. Just call me up, we will meet over coffee, and make the exchange. Cash only please.


toodles....Sandi


This has been an excercise in creative writing, hosted by "The Red Dress Club" The prompt is: Write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig's List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go.

24 comments:

Carrie said...

this could as easily be a message from my husband to me. I lost SO much hair for a time and it would always become tangled in his clothes and around his body parts...even his ass crack LOL

Visiting from RDC

Stephanie said...

LMAO!! YOur suggestions for use are especially funny! I really loved the last suggestion. Maybe you should stick a warning label on the bag.

--The Drama Mama

Mandyland said...

Oh! I hate those little hairs!

LOVED your suggestions - especially craft time with the kiddies. lol

Ilana @mommyshorts said...

HA! I sincerely hope that hair splinter tale is not true. If so— that is some dangerously course hair! Maybe you can throw it in front of your front door to scare barefoot intruders.

Emily said...

haha I love the suggestions for use. Very clever. I hate those little hairs too!

Jessica said...

Ugh, I hate those hairs. Even if I had a hamster can't say I would respond to this one, so gross but well written. Thanks for the laugh!

singedwingangel said...

I am so grateful my hubby does clean up after himself.. especially afer reading this..

Sandi a::k::a KnitMyRhino said...

You guys are such wonderful critics! I was so scared I would be squished like processed cheese, with my terrible grammar and all!

Rita aka Yippy Momma said...

My hubby likes to shave/cut his hair over the sink, but fortunately he cleans up after himself. Love the list of suggestions.

MrsJenB said...

"They can be gross in there together". Truer words, never spoken. *shudder*

Valerie said...

This is great! I am rolling on the floor as I write this! (Hope I don't roll over any hair splinters) ;)

Great job with this prompt!

Cheryl said...

Yuck! Gross! I can't stand leftover hair. Eek!!

transplantedx3 said...

The male species is just plain gross. I know I've a house full of them. I dread when they ALL shave...shivers....great job - I especially like your crafty suggestions! Only a crafter could be so creative!

Yuliya said...

Oh I would absolutely meet you over coffee to discuss! Fantastic!

Nichole said...

So funny.
I hate those tiny little hairs too...especially when they get stuck in the globs of toothpaste in the sink (!).

So nice to have you link up.

(p.s. I would consider turning off your word verification...you'll find that you get more comments.)

Sandi a::k::a KnitMyRhino said...

Thanks Nichole, I seriously did not know I had word verification on. Problem taken care of!

Nancy C said...

Nothing is more heinous than those little hairs. Nuh-thing.

Jenna said...

i agree... ew the little nasty hairs! Great subject, and well done!

Karen Peterson said...

There are few things more disgusting than those little hairs. Just reading this gave me the dry heaves!

Renee said...

Yep, my husband has his own bathroom.
Now if I could get the cats to shed in one place...

Natalie said...

OMG!! I SO relate to this!! I swear, as soon as I clean the bathroom, my husband decides to shave, and then he claims he can't see them without his glasses on which is why he "can't" clean them all up.

Mama Jules said...

Thank goodness my husband now shaves in the shower. He used to do it in the sink but then our sink started backing up.

I'm thinking his hair leftovers may have had something to do with that.

Brandon Duncan said...

"They can be gross in there together." That is funny!

CDG said...

May I suggest make-your-own hairy face magnet toys? just toss them in with some metal filings and away you go.